​Pressed to come up with a subtitle for Banged-Up Heart -- in time for a poster display at my college reunion -- I quickly settled on A Widow’s Story of Star-Crossed Love.  It wasn’t until many months later, about the time I landed a publisher, that I began to lament my hastily concocted subtitle.  A potential reader might think my book was about a widow who falls in love with someone who dumps her, and that was not the case.  Why hadn’t I seen that earlier?  If a subtitle tells the reader what the memoir is about, what was my memoir really about?  “Love and loss,” I said to my editor, who’d asked the question.  She nodded her agreement.  But the words “love and loss” alone seemed incomplete.  What was it about love and loss that would give the reader insight into the essence of Banged-Up Heart?   
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My thoughts turned to the Anne Lamott Plan B piece where I’d found my title, and that’s when it hit me.  The subtitle should say something about dancing.  I ran a couple of possibilities by Terra Nova Books editor, Marty Gerber:  “How about A Widow Dances with Love and Loss?” “Yes,” he said, “you were widowed at the start; yes, you’re twice widowed at the end.  But in between is the story of two diverse individuals – powered by love—trying valiantly to know each other and find a way together to battle an overwhelming enemy.  I simply feel that the ‘human-ness’ of the tale you tell is so much more than the ‘widow-ness’ angle.”  “How about A Dance with Love and Loss?” I asked.  “It’s not a single dance,” he said.  “You’re dancing with love and loss from beginning to end.”  And that’s how the subtitle, Dancing with Love and Loss, came to be.  Sometimes it takes time and distance to be able to re-focus effectively on the essence of what you’ve written.  And having the reaction of someone else, such as editor Marty Gerber, can prove invaluable.

“Send your creative works for display at Reunion.”  My college reunion was three months off but, regrettably, my memoir, my creative work, was not finished.  I was still rewriting with no likelihood of completing it in time.  But what an opportunity to promote it! I thought.  I might even find the name of a literary agent from an author classmate.  My editor agreed.  With her encouragement, I met with Amiel Gervers, a tall brunette who’d left an advertising career in New York City to live in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

“Shirley, I can design a website for your book, and I can have it finished with posters and postcards in time for your college reunion.”  Stirring sugar into her tea at the Teahouse on Canyon Road, Amiel told me what she’d need.  “First, I want to read your book.  I know you haven’t finished rewriting it, but that’s all right.  I want to select quotes to go with some of these photos you’ve shown me.  You’ll need to send these to me electronically.  Also, I’ll need a bio from you and while you at it, something about your “Tahoe Traveler” writing experience. In my twenties, I’d traveled in Europe and the Middle East, writing a column for the Tahoe Daily Tribune. 

Within days, Amiel had everything she needed from me with one exception:  a title for the book.   I’d sent her a photo to use as a cover mock-up -- a burned out forest with nascent green grass denoting regrowth in the foreground.  But I was still clueless about a title.  Months earlier, I’d discarded a working title, Love + Loss x Two, because I’d narrowed my focus to my recent love and loss.

Hoping for an epiphany, I hunkered down with the last several chapters.  I would be discussing one, possibly more, of these with my editor in a few days.  In one chapter,

my attention riveted on a selection by writer Anne Lamott that the Rev. Kim Beach read at John’s memorial service.  That’s it! I thought. 
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Eager to share my find with editor Morgan Farley, I could hardly contain myself as I sat down at the table for our editing session.  “I have a title!” I blurted.  “So do I,” she said.  “Banged-Up Heart,” I said.  “That’s what I came up with, too.” Morgan beamed with delight.  And that’s the story of how I found a title for my memoir – in time to promote it at my college Reunion.  Since then, the cover has changed but the title remains.