Melis/Nagelschmidt/Bessey/Hirsch: What’s in a Name?

With more of my life behind than ahead of me, who would think I’d be having an identity crisis?  It’s not that I don’t know who I am, but some people who know me don’t recognize me!  No, I haven’t had plastic surgery.  It’s my name that gives them pause.

“You are Shirley Melis?” they ask.  “We thought you were Shirley Nagelschmidt Bessey Hirsch!”

“I am, but before I became Nagelschmidt Bessey Hirsch I was known as Shirley Melis.”

I was born Shirley (Ann) Melis and that’s how people knew me through college and as a young newspaper columnist before I married Joe Nagelschmidt.  In common with many women my age, I happily took – without a moment’s hesitation – my husband’s name as mine.  Nagelschmidt wasn’t pretty but it was memorable. 

For some thirty years, while forging a career in public relations in Washington, D.C., and later working in community relations for the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority, I was Shirley Nagelschmidt with Melis relegated to a silent “M” between first and last names.

After Joe’s death, I married John Bessey, and for a brief time I was known as Shirley Bessey.  Now, married to Frank Hirsch, I go by Shirley Hirsch.  Had I been more of a feminist at the outset, I might have always been known as Shirley Melis.  And yet, in retrospect, each of my last names – Nagelschmidt, Bessey and Hirsch – defines a significant phase of my life.  So, what’s in a name, or several names?  The short answer:  my life.  Banged-Up Heart is a slice of my life’s journey and in telling my story, I’m giving voice to my long silent “M” by reclaiming Shirley Melis.