"A life-affirming memoir detailing personal triumph."
-Kirkus Reviews |
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Melis' stirring story is beautifully told, both philosophically reflective and emotionally poignant. Her account is also remarkably candid. Despite the heartbreaking losses she endured, she manages to produce a life-affirming memoir detailing personal triumph." -Kirkus Reviews
“Exceptionally well written, impressively candid, and ultimately inspiring.” -Midwest Book Review
Shirley Melis lays bare the heartbreak of being widowed twice in four years. But that's just the start. Her candor, and insights, delivered in crisp, unsentimental prose, will pull you into this inspiring account of love, loss, and resilience." Intimate, open, and heartfelt, Shirley Melis shares her Banged-Up Heart with the reader: the loss of a profound late love cut tragically short, her determination to understand it, survive it, and the courage to open her heart to another." |
An intimate look at the power of love, filled with honesty and passion, Banged-Up Heart is the best memoir I’ve read this year. Bravo." |
Banged Up Heart invites us into an intimate, compelling story of deep love, one found unexpectedly, after a painful time of raw widowhood. In meticulous detail, Melis crafts an uplifting testament to her own persisting determination in the face of devastating tragedy. Her courage to open herself again, despite such confrontation with double loss, is a shining example of human resilience at its most transcendent." It's a beautiful and compelling story! A great read!" |
About Banged-Up Heart
Banged-Up Heart is an intimate and clear-eyed account of finding love late and losing it early—and of the strength it takes to fall deeply in love a second time, be forced to relinquish that love too soon, and yet choose to love again.
When her husband of thirty years dies suddenly, Shirley Melis is convinced she will never find another man like Joe. Then she meets John, a younger man who tells her during their first conversation that he has lived for many years with a rare but manageable cancer. She is swept off her feet in a whirlwind courtship, and within months, made brave by the early death of a friend’s husband, she asks him to marry her! What follows is a year-long odyssey of travel and a growing erotic and creative partnership— until a mysterious bump on John’s forehead proves to be one of several tumors in his brain and spine. The nine months that follow are filled with a life-threatening infection, three brain surgeries, radiation, and chemotherapy. Two years and one week after their wedding, John dies at the age of fifty-nine. More than just a love story or a memoir of mourning, Banged-Up Heart comes down solidly on the side of life. It takes you deep inside an ordinary woman, her deeply felt grief butting up against her desire for more than companionship: passion, sexual fulfillment, and self-realization. It bears eloquent witness to the wild trust it takes to fall madly in love and risk profound loss—a second time. Ultimately, it shows that it is possible to dance with a banged-up heart. |
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"John had no illusions and surrendered when he knew he must surrender -- and in this very way I think, remained master of his own soul, spiritually triumphant."
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“You are the center of my universe and occupy most of the rest of it as well.” 
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“In the photo, the lion’s gaze is so direct he almost seems to be communicating with John, as if he were a kindred spirit.” 
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"We have time," he said, holding me close. But I knew that time was the one thing we did not have.
"I made my decision so that we could enjoy this time together, our last best time."
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“With every breath, with every step I take, I feel you’re with me. I can’t differentiate between us. That comforts me, and it confuses me. Who am I? Am I nothing without you? If I’m nothing how do I live? I thought I could – but now I’m not sure.”
-Shirley Melis, Banged-Up Heart |
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“If you haven’t already
You will lose someone you can’t live without,
And your heart will be badly broken,
And you will never completely get over the
Loss of a deeply beloved person.
But this is also the good news,
The person lives forever
In your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up
And you come through, and you learn to
Dance with the banged-up heart.”
You will lose someone you can’t live without,
And your heart will be badly broken,
And you will never completely get over the
Loss of a deeply beloved person.
But this is also the good news,
The person lives forever
In your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up
And you come through, and you learn to
Dance with the banged-up heart.”